On the first of the month, I received a  phone call, telling me that my father had died in his sleep. 

It was an awful shock, I’d only spoken with Dad a few days prior. I new that his health hadn’t been great, but had no idea that it was as poor as it was. 

I’d later find out that on top of the Giant Cell Arteritis he’d been diagnosed with during 2020, he’d also been living with heart and lung disease. The coroner’s report suggested that Dad’s death had been peaceful, he probably had been completely unaware of it. 

The news and subsequent grief triggered another bout of maintenance insomnia, however, I think because I’d started the year with shock and grieving, I found myself processing Dad’s death in a different way. The feelings that come with loss, seemed so familiar, the emotional shockwaves became ripples more quickly. It’s hard to articulate, but I feel like one death prepared me for the other. 

There was also the bittersweet knowledge that Dad slipped away without having to live his final months in mortal misery, as his collection of diseases would have no doubt turned his life into a waking nightmare.  Knowing this, helped shorten the grieving.

During the middle of the month, Mrs.Hiab-X & I went to see Rammstein live in the Puskas arena Budapest. There are no other bands on the planet who currently can match the sheer scale and spectacle of a Rammstein performance. Nothing comes close.